You're Simon

J and his father built a cross in the backyard one weekend.  Of course, J immediately got out his markers and drew a Jesus on the cross.  He then proceeded to pick up the cross to carry it across the yard. While carrying his cross, he yelled to his father,

J: Dad, I'm Jesus and your Simon. Come help me carry this thing.

After a minute and after having fallen down, J called out to his father (who had still not joined him),

J: I have to fall down three times, so come help me carry this!