Have you touched an Elf lately

So J had a friend over last night who had never heard of Elf on the Shelf. Yes, he touched him.  Panic ensued as J worried whether or not poor Candy Cane had lost his magic and would be forever frozen in a planter on the side table.

In case you or someone you know touches and Elf, I thought I would share our secret.  There is a Department of Elf Reanimation at the North Pole whose job is solely to restore magic to those elves who have been manhandled.  A letter arrived in the mail today from the Director of Elf Reanimation along with a little baggy of Elf Dust.  Simply sprinkle the Elf dust on said elf while reciting the following to bring him back to life.

Oh magical, wonderful Elf from the Pole,
The one that we love, but whose magic we stole.
Please let this sparkly elf dust restore
Your power to fly back to Santa once more.

Happy Shelfing!

Las Posadas revisited

J's school does a wonderful thing each year at Christmas time where they re-enact the journey of Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem.  The boys dress as shepherd and the girls as angels and they follow our Mary and Joseph through the school looking for a place to stay.  As the Kinder and Pre-K set got ready to venture out on their journey, J standing directly behind the little girl dressed as Mary, J remarks to her....

J: Mary, are you sure about this?

Its not Pink eye

So if you've kept up with the word of my little A, then you know that purple is the current obsession. So much so, that when she was diagnosed last week with pink eye, she corrected me to tell me, "No, I have purple eye!"

Two is a Mine Field!

So all two year old children enter the "mine phase".  Well, A's current "mine phase" has taken it to a whole new level.  All of these are from snipits of conversations with my hubby and J in one day (with A's interjections) melded into one, but they could have easily gone sequentially.

Me: So and So had a baby yesterday.
A: It's my BABY!

Me: We have to go to that birthday party this weekend.
A: It's my BIRTHDAY!

Me (to hubby): This is your fault you know.
A: No. It's my FAULT!

Me: Do you see my point?
A: It's my POINT!

Sensing a Theme For Christmas

A's Christmas List
(dictated in a letter to Santa verbatim from the mouth of my precious two year old)

A new baby doll...a purple one, not pink.
A swimming pool. Pause. Purple please.
Cinderella Toothbrush and Snow White one too.
A purple Bow
Sparkly toes......PURPLE ones.

Art Appreciation

I kept thinking I would post this once I got the picture uploaded from my phone, but if I keep waiting it will never be posted, so here goes.

At a local Mexican restaurant with the hubby and kids. J walks away towards the restrooms and proceeds to kneel and cross himself.

Me: What are you doing?
J: I'm praying to the Virgin Mary.
Me: No, that's a picture of the Mona Lisa eating a taco.

Promise that the picture will come soon.

What comes from being Right Brained.

Me: You and your sister are such a mess!

Without missing a beat...
J: It's because we are creative.

Whose Your Master?

From March 2011

Said to me after being told what to do for the fifth time...

J: What are you, like my master?

Oh yes I am!

Mine, All Mine!

Some oldies that just didn't get posted.

From Aug 2011

In the drive thru at Sonic...

Sonic Employee: Will that be all for you?
Me: Yep
J: No! It's not all for her! Some of it is for me!

The Force

J was Luke Skywalker for Halloween this year.  Instead of saying Trick or Treat he want to say something more Luke-like.  So what did he say?

"The Force MAY be with you."

or it may not....

Disappearing Sister Trick

J was playing with a group of plastic Halloween toys on the table and not eating his dinner.  After about 10 minutes of constantly correcting him I said, "The next thing you touch will disappear forever!" His response, said with a big smile..."What if I touch my sister?"

I've fallen and I can't get up - A 5 yr old's perspective

A Life Alert commercial came on today.  You know the ones, "I've fallen and I can't get up." J's response...

J: It's easy not to fall, just don't wear socks!

Definitely a cheaper alternative.

What's that Word Again?

J:Today at school I learned what a salami is. It's when a really, really big wave comes and hits the earth!

If only a tsunami was a salami.

What a ride!

Getting off of a roller coaster at SeaWorld, we asked J what he thought of the ride.

J: My tummy wiggled and then my heart when up to my brain and said "Thump, thump! Turn on Brain! Turn on Brain!"

After the second roller coaster...


J: My heart said "Don't do that again." but my brain didn't listen.

Third row - middle

I Knew Her When

Sitting in the tub watching TV, and A starts dancing and singing "blablabla Baby Night Night" over and over.  On the tube...American Idol and the girl is singing Whitney Houston's "I'm Your Baby Tonight".  A star is born!!!!

GaGa rules even the 4 year olds

Said to his sister when she put on her sunglasses,

J: You look like Goo Goo GaGa. She's a lady.

For all those Star Wars fans

So J is now currently obsessed with Star Wars, even though up until a week ago he had never even seen one of the movies.  J and Daddy had a movie night when I was out of town and watched the original Star Wars, which has led to multiple discussions on how bad Darth Vader actually was and many days of dressing as a Storm Trooper.

While on the phone with his uncle today J started to talk about his new found favorite movie. The conversation proceeded to this point,

J: I haven't seen the one with the Vampires yet.

Uncle: The one with the Vampires? Which one is that?

J: You, know. The Vampires Strike Back!