First Shave

J: I have shaved all my things.  My butt, my feet, my ears, and my hairy belly!
Thanks Santa for the Shave Kit!

Quest for the Holy Grail

We were standing in the bathroom brushing teeth when J noticed an old bronze drinking cup in the cabinet that was part of our bathroom set when we got married.

J: Mama, how come you have Jesus' blood cup in my bathroom?

Let the party begin!

The story of Mary and Joseph according to a 4 year old.

J: Mary and Joseph were looking for a place to stay cause she was going to have a baby.  They kept looking and looking and then they got to the stable. That's when the party begined!

J as a shepherd for Las Posadas at school.

Okay, So I'm Doing Something Right

J: Mama, I have an good idea that will help everyone.  We should have a yard sale of my toys that I don't play with anymore and sell lemonade so that we buy toys and medicine for people that don't have any.

Lemonade stand in 1 hour featuring a selection of toys for sale as well.  All proceeds to benefit Fire Department Toy Drive. Warm and fuzzy, anyone?

First Words

A's first words in chronological order:

1. Kitty
2. Mama
3. Dada
4. Shoes
5. Thank You
6. Please

So I figure that at least she will be polite when drowning away our savings on shoes.

Heaven is a Happy Meal

J: Did you know that when kids die they don't go to Heaven, they go to McDonald's.

Who You Gonna Call?

This morning...

J: I want to be a ghostbuster for Halloween.  Will you please make me a ghostbuster costume?

Me: I don't know how to make a ghostbuster costume.

Minutes later I was handed a piece of paper with blue marker scribbles.

J: Here are the instructions for you to make me a ghostbuster costume. I will help you.  It will be easy if you follow my instructions.

Where did this come from? Solution...print out the logo onto a sheet of paper and tape it to a shirt.  Happy boy!

Halloween Fun

J wanted mustaches with his costume so we bought the jumbo 36 pack.  Thank goodness, since he would wear one for about 10 minutes and then declare, "Mommy, I think I need to shave."  As he ripped off the mustache and threw it away.

Happy Halloween!

Pretty Please with Candy on Top

So my Spanish speaking child still will not speak English.  I was trying to bribe her this evening with a piece of candy pumpkin.  "Say please," I repeated over and over as she grunted and reached for the candy.  "Say please and you can have it."  So she leans forward, smiles, and gives me a big hug while patting me on the back.

Guess who got a piece of candy.

Reign of the Formidable Fours - Part II

After J has been particularly unruly...

Me: You can't have birthday cake at your aunt's house tonight unless you listen and go do what I asked.


J: That's okay. It's a long drive out to Aunt Mel's house so you guys will forget by then.

Reign of the Formidable Fours - Part I

Just to set up the next few posts....They say to watch out for the terrible twos, but the formidable fours have just crept in to rock our household. This week has been fraught with whining, yelling, tears, and J has done his fare share of the aforementioned as well.  As my mother reminded me, be sure to remember these stories when he is at his worst.  Fortunately for me, he still manages to say the funniest things when he's at his worst.

In the middle of an hour long battle on cleaning up his toys, J takes a deep breath and shows a moment of calm.

J: Mom, I've had such a hard day today.  I think its making me have a hard attack.

Me: You mean a heart attack, like your heart hurts cause you've not been very nice?

J: No, a HARD attack, cause its hard to stop.

Mint and Me

J: Mommy, you know what the thing is about mint and me? The mint juice floats up my nose and makes me sneeze.

Missing Key

After a key went missing Matthew questions J.

M: Did you take the key to the back door?

J: Yes. I needed it cause it is the key to my ship, but I don't remember where it is.

M: Well, you need to look for the key and find it this morning.

J: That's not in my plans.

No Habla Ingles

So I now think I have figured out the reason for such looks as....

A's teacher today asked me if we speak Spanish to her at home because she understands so much of it and even waved her teacher over today saying "Ven, ven." (translation "Come, come.") No one speaks Spanish to her at home. So the root of all the frustrated looks from my sweet girl....

We don't speak the same language.

Father, Son and What?

On the way into church.....

J: How do you do that water thing again?

Budding Author

I've been writing a children's book and finally finished it today.  J was so happy when I read it to him that he started on his own book immediately.  Of course he had to one up me and did his own illustrations.  The picture is the first page of his book.

Story: Army Guy (dictated to mommy by the author himself)

Once upon a time an army guy wanted a friend, but the other armies didn't want to be his friend.  Stephen didn't want to be his friend. Nobody wanted to be his friend.

(J:Mommy this is a magic book and I'm gonna make it a happy story now. Abracadabra.)

Once upon a time everybody wanted to be army guys friend except the bad guys.  The army guy said, "Now I'm a happy army guy!"

The End

Native Tongue

Me: Your sister sounds like she speaks alien.

J: It's French.

Mama Who?

First I had to endure being called "Kitty" for last three months and now I had to listen to A chant "dada, boppa, dada, boppa" for the last 15 minutes while I bathed her.  Her father and grandfather where nowhere to be found, which begs the question, "Who is the primary caregiver here?"

Exaggerate Much?

J: Mommy, I'm SO hungry! I don't have a choice. If I don't eat right now, I won't live!

Bad Mommy

After being made very mad by mommy (cause I buckled his seat belt for him)....

J: That's it! I want out of this car.  I want to live with somebody else in a different house.

Me: Okay.

Pulled back into a parking spot at school and unlocked the doors.

J: I changed my mind.  I want YOU to go live somewhere else. 

Just for me

J: Mommy, I drawed you this heart because my heart loves you.

Be Our Guest

J had a play date earlier this week. I told him that his friend was our guest, and that guests get to decide what to play.  Frustration with this rule ensued several times during the play date.  Today, when I asked J if he wanted his friend to come over for another play date he responded, "Yes, but next time can she not be our guest?"

Whose body?

While harassing J about picking his nose, he bit back, "This is my body.  You have your own body, so don't tell me what to do with my body!"

Don't you love it when a four year old can put you in your place!

Birthday Present

J: Mommy, what would you like for your birthday?


Me: I would like a child who does everything that I ask with a smile on his face.

J pauses with his finger on his chin.  Thinking...thinking...

J: You can't afford that.